


Be Still My Heart

by trenchcoatsanddragons



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel in the Bunker, Coffee, Fallen Castiel, Fluff, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, basically right after season eight, instead of season nine, so much coffee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 16:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2394605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trenchcoatsanddragons/pseuds/trenchcoatsanddragons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the angels fall and Castiel is left human, Dean promises Cas that he can find a home in him. Dean just might find a new home, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Still My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first somewhat lengthy fic, and any suggestions would be lovely! Thank you!

_"Be still my heart, this could be a brand new start, for you" -Death Cab for Cutie_

The angels fell in a flurry of golden fire. A closer-to-death-than-normal Sam was slumped against Dean’s side as he tried in vain to force the Impala’s tire to support their forms, and that should have been all he cared about in the moment. The angels shouldn’t have mattered. The wind tearing into his clothes and his skin and the fact that the world was actually ending shouldn’t have mattered, because blood was slowly _drip-dropping_ out of Sam’s slack mouth, but an incessant rhythm in the back of his mind kept thumping it’s way into his consciousness.

  _Castiel_

_Castiel_

“Castiel!”

 

Sam’s head was bumping against the passenger side window, not dead, but certainly not alive, when Dean finally got his shit together enough to pull his phone out.  The Impala was going something close to ninety on a sixty-five mile per hour highway, but Dean had a little too much experience with driving distractedly to care.  In a mess of fast fingers and numbers on an illuminated keypad, Dean dialed Cas’s cell. His called went to voicemail, and he cursed under his breath, just to hit redial with no answer yet again.

Dean’s thoughts finally returned to the road, not wanting to run into a tree before he was able to get Sam home.  As he pulled into the mile stretch of sand and dust that led to the bunker, Dean’s phone finally rang. Now driving at the incredibly slow speed of forty miles an hour, Dean pulled his cell from his pocket, and with shaky fingers received the call.

“Dean?” Cas’s breath sounded staggered, like he had just fallen himself.

“Oh my god, Cas are you okay? Where are you, what the hell’s going on?” Dean frantically said into the phone, balancing it between his cheek and his shoulder as he maneuvered up the winding path.

Cas’s voice came out quieter through the tinny speaker, almost in pain.

“Metatron, he tricked me, he said he would help but, but he took my grace and he, he-“

Dean almost drove through the entrance to the bunker’s garage.

_He took my grace._

Cas was human. Totally one hundred percent could die at any given second human.  And he was alone- hopefully.

Something possessed Dean’s body and brought him back to reality for a moment, speaking for him.

“Cas, you’re human. Oh my god you’re human, are you alright? Tell me where you are I’m coming to pick you up.”

Cas’s next words came out between broken sobs.  God, did Dean want to be with him right now.

“They’re all locked out of Heaven, Dean, it’s all my fault.  I could die I’m human, I could die, I just want to di-“

And then Dean snapped back into focus.

“No, no Cas shut up. Just shut up for a second. You’re not going to die, I swear to you. And you don’t want to die, either. You’re in pain, and you’re grieving and you fucked up big time but buddy, you’re human now and there’s so much to fucking live for.”

Cas’s sobs had devolved into hyperventilating now, so at least that was a step in the right direction. Only his deep, too-fast breaths could be heard from the phone, until he audibly gulped and _inhaled_ , _exhaled_.

“Cas, buddy, are you with me?”

His angel was crying and he _hated_ it, not because it made him weak, not because this whole goddamn dilemma was his fault. No- crying, emotions, it all just reminded Dean that his angel was merely human now, and he didn’t even know where he was.

“Yes, Dean, yes I’m with you I hear you just-“

“Okay awesome, that’s awesome, Cas. Now I’m just gonna need you to tell me where you are.”

As he said this, Dean’s excuse for a brain registered the fact that he still hadn’t gotten Sam into a bed yet, let alone out of the car, and that was a thing that should happen. With all of the strength he could muster, Dean swiftly carried his brother’s limp frame through the bunker doors and into the bedroom down the hall from his own.

It took Cas approximately thirty minutes to find his way out of the field he had fallen into and onto a dusty dirt road that eventually led to a distinguishable crossroads. After telling him to remain where he was, placing a cold rag on Sam’s burning forehead, and leaving a note on the bedside table, Dean fled the bunker with his own words pounding a mantra into his skull:

_Angels fell,_

_bringing Cas home,_

_call when you can._

___________________

 

Dean pulled over on the side of a back road of some godforsaken town outside of Kansas City at three forty seven am.  Unsurprisingly, there were no signs of a recent breakdown anywhere on Cas’s face, or at least that he could tell from what was illuminated by the dilapidated street lamp. No, Castiel’s expression displayed no emotion, his blue eyes staring blankly at the miles and miles of grass on the other side of the road.  His coat was torn down the sleeve and one of its buttons was missing, but the rest of him looked fairly in tact.

Dean heard his heart shatter at the sight of him.

He shut off the Impala with a soft rumble, and slowly made his way onto the street, under the lamp to where Cas was standing.  The two remained quiet for a few moments, Dean just reminding himself again and again that Cas was safe, and he was with him now.  And he promised himself then that that was never going to change.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Dean turned to face his angel, muddied hair and broken posture and all. With trepidation, he placed his right hand on the back of his head, soothed the ample amount of dark hair there for a while.

“Look at me”, he whispered, breaking the silence only accompanied by an orchestra of nearby crickets.

He was answered by nothing- Cas just closed his eyes, shoulders slumping a fraction more as Dean continued to stroke his hair.

“Come on, Cas, look at me”, Dean repeated, carefully placing the two forefingers of his free hand under Cas’s chin, angling his head in the direction of his own.

Cas’s eyes remained sealed for a moment more as he took a deep breath, possibly his first deep breath, and then Dean was pinned with blue.

Cas nodded a few times, just blinking and breathing and shaking and seeming oh so _human_.  He eventually nodded his way into Dean’s chest, stepping closer and closer with each frantic confirmation of something unexplained.  And with Cas’s face buried in his shirt and Cas’s hands clutching to the back of his caller and Cas’s dirty hair slipping between his fingers, Dean felt more at home than he had in years.


End file.
